Thursday, May 26, 2011

Wayne's joke of the "weak"

What do you get if you hack off a man's genitalia, attach a small horn to his forehead and then force him to spend a few months wearing rather poorly fitting boots?

A eunuch-corn!!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Wayne's joke of the "weak"

An old man is sitting quietly in the corner of a Yorkshire pub, reading his paper. All of a sudden a large group of students bustle in and start disturbing the peace. After a couple of rounds of drinks, a few of them gather around the quiz machine and begin to play. They are soon doing rather well (despite the old man's disapproving tuts) and eventually find themselves needing to answer just one more question, in order to win the £25 jackpot. The question comes up:

Which actor first portrayed Robert Ludlum's famous character Jason Bourne?

A: Roger Lloyd Pack
B: Matt Damon
C: Richard Chamberlain

The students rapidly concur that the correct answer is, of course, B. However, at this point, a loud voice suddenly carries across the pub:

"No it bloody weren't! It were Richard bloody Chamberlain!"

The students find tremendous amusement at the ramblings of the evidently deranged old man and go ahead with pressing B- at which point the machine registers a wrong answer. They win nothing.

"Why you ungrateful bloody youngsters!" shouts the old man. "That's the problem with your generation- you think you know it all, but you don't know your Bourne!".

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Wayne's joke of the "weak"

What happened when God drank a bottle of Coca-cola too quickly?

He did an "almighty" burp!