Sunday, March 8, 2009

An Egg-centric Eggs-travanganza

A work currently in progress, I have recently been turning my attentions to Michel Roux's book Eggs.

The plan is to set a new world record for the highest density of egg puns within a body of text. I did a similar thing once before, with The Best Book of Puns.

Although I was reasonably proud of that at the time, I'm afraid that the main body of text contains a mere 21 instances within 88 words! At one pun, per 4.105 words, the statistics now look very pun-y indeed! Well, I've managed to better that this time, with 77 eggs out of 209 words (in the main part of the text)- a rate of one egg every 2.7143 words. Still, I can't help but feel that this can be improved (ideally to the point of having an egg every other word) before I approach Norris McWhirter. Please send any suggestions for additions!

The current effort is still awaiting approval on amazon (which still displays an earlier draft), so here is the latest version:

As a joint-founder of 'Le Gavroche' (along with his brother Danny), Michel Roux has a long-standing reputation as a first-class chef. Although the restaurant has since dropped to two Michelin stars, Roux's reputation remains thoroughly unblemished- the balls-up having occurred shortly after he made the regrettable decision to pass the reins to Michel Roux jnr, his bumbling nephew!

Anyway, to the recipes! I had high eggs-pectations but it's no eggs-aggeration to say that this eggs-pansive literary eggs-position eggs-udes in-eggs-tinguishable eggs-ellence! Roux's eggs-traordinary eggs-actitude of eggs-planation is eggs-emplary and its el-egg-ance cannot be eggs-tolled highly enough. Indeed, the eggs-uberant recipes are eggs-pounded eggs-plicitly enough to be readily eggs-ecuted by both d-eggs-trous eggs-perts and in-eggs-perienced b-egg-inners alike- with scant need for eggs-perimentation or eggs-tensive eggs-trapolation. While one needs some eggs-otic ingredients (to add to r-egg-ular ones, like or-egg-ano, nutm-egg or vin-egg-ar), eggs-amination reveals that none but the most eggs-clusive eggs-amples demands an eggs-orbitant level of eggs-acerbated eggs-penditure. While there are many pre-eggs-isting t-eggs-ts on eggs, Roux's eggs-tremely eggs-haustive l-eggs-icon eggs-hibits that eggs-tra level of eggs-travagance, s-egg-r-egg-ating him from other eggs-tant eggs-ponents (without egg-ception). The eggs-quisite results are pure egg-stasy!

Anyway, I b-egg you to eggs-cuse me if I have become r-egg-rettably over-eggs-cited and gone to a n-egg-ative d-egg-ree of egg-cess, in eggs-pressing myself! If you r-egg-ard this egg-regiously eggs-troversive eggs-ploration as having been eggs-cruciatingly eggs-asperating then you'll feel eggs-ultant to know that I've just about over-eggs-erted myself. I shall not eggs-tend these ren-egg-ade eggs-ploits any further. No, I'm not going to d-egg-rade my int-egg-rity by eggs-tracting any more dr-eggs, before making an egg-ceedingly eggs-pedient eggs-it. Frankly, this egg-centricity has gone beyond the yolk!

PS. Rumour has it that Roux has been contemplating a follow-up to this success, but only time will tell whether a second venture into the world of eggs would be wise. Let's hope that he doesn't find himself suffering from the notorious "difficult second 'albumen' syndrome"!