Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wayne's joke of the 'weak'

A man is standing in a field full of cows, chomping away at a Big Mac. One of the cows goes up to him and says:

"MOO!!! Would you please refrain from eating that Big Mac, sir? Not only is it staggeringly high in both sodium and saturated fat, but it also causes untold damage to the environment. Do you have any idea as to the quantity of methane that is produced from year to year by the massed proliferation of livestock? Do you have any idea as to how morally reprehensible it is to be reserving vast regions of third world land for the rearing of cattle, while a substantial proportion of the local people go hungry- due to insufficient remaining land in which to plant staple crops? And that's to say nothing of how many square kilometres of rainforest are being bulldozed to make way for unsustainable pastures, before being grazed into barren wasteland."

"Yeah- blah, blah, blah! Well, what do you propose that I eat instead then, Myrtle, or whatever your name is?", inquires the man.

"MOO!!! My name is Daisy, thank you. But why don't you feast upon some of this lovely grass, like I do?" says the cow.

"Well, it's all very well for you, as a cow, to subsist off a diet of grass" says the man "but personally I simply don't have the 'stomachs' for it."


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Wayne's joke of the 'weak'

Have you heard the one about the brutal serial killer who worked as a fitness instructor? All of his clients ended up thoroughly 'ripped', with the most exquisitely 'chiselled' physiques.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wayne's Joke of the 'Weak'

Good lord! I haven't done one of these in months!

Why did the voucher with a record of conducting himself with dubious standards in morality go into the confession booth?

Because he wanted to be 'redeemed'!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wayne's joke of the "weak"

What do you get if you fashion a pair of underpants out of cured slices of pork belly, but neglect to wipe your arse adequately in the aftermath of a visit to the latrine?

"Streaky" bacon!